A Tumblg by Benjamin Dauer, Senior Interactive Designer at NPR and experimental musician/composer.

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From the spokesman who brought us the ‘Sham WOW!’, ladies and gentleman, here is the ‘Slap Chop’.

"We’re gonna make America skinnier one slap at a time!"

"Stop having a boring tuna. Stop having a boring life."

"You’re gonna love my nuts."

"You see this onion? It’s making me cry. Life’s sad enough as it is, you wanna stop cryin’?"

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